Review of PET SEMATARY – Rated R

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This humble opinion is brought to by you T. K. Edwards

PET SEMATARY  – Rated R  – 1 hr. 41 mins

DIRECTOR:  Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer

STARRING:  Jason Clarke, Amy Seimetz, John Lithgow, Jete Laurence

Dr. Louis Creed and his wife, Rachel, relocate from Boston to rural Maine with their two young children. The couple soon discover a mysterious burial ground hidden deep in the woods near their new home.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW

In 1989, I saw something that forever changed me, which was the original PET SEMATARY movie.  There were things in that movie that just never left my brain. Horrible images of a dead kid, a car accident victim with his head split open and a woman named Zelda that haunted my childhood nightmares for weeks, years and now it would seem, decades to come.  I thought they were gone and would never come back. I pushed them way down deep in my subconscious. I’m talking deep, deep in my subconscious. A dark place where the KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE, EXORCIST, IT (1990), and GARBAGE PAIL KIDS: THE MOVIE lives.  And thanks to the success of the new IT movie, PET SEMATARY got a rebooted movie now too. Now all these suppressed memories of a demonic cat with glowing eyes, a head trauma victim, the kid from kindergarten cop trying to kill his parents, and F-ing Zelda are flooding back to me.  Welcome back nightmares! It’s’ been awhile! How ya been? Still horrifying. Good. Glad to hear it. The new PET SEMATARY film delivers on everything you’re expecting it to, but this time around the story is tweaked just a bit in parts to make it feel new and exciting, while also providing the audience with scares they may not see coming.  Here are a few things (Spoiler FREE) you will find out after watching the new PET SEMATARY:

  1. The movie is scarier if you were terrified of the original.
  2. Zelda is still creepy as balls!
  3. 1989 head trauma makeup looks just as disgusting as 2019 head trauma makeup.
  4. Dogs are better than cats.
  5. Checking out the traffic situation around your house before you buy it is always a great idea.
  6. You probably should’ve worn your brown pants to the movie.
  7. John Lithgow is a God!

I could go on and on about the things that are both horrifying and psychologically damaging in PET SEMATARY, but I’m late for my therapist appointment and I have to save some of this stuff for her…I mean I paid for a whole session I might as well use it.  If you love horror films and you’re a fan of Stephen King & the original film, then go see PET SEMATARY in the theaters. Until next time, thanks for reading.

P.S. – There are no post credit scenes.